Into The Storm Read online

  She giggled. “All this because of apple pie?”

  “No,” I shook my head, stroking her cheek with my hand. “All of this, because of you.”

  With a contented sigh she leaned forward, pressing her forehead to mine. I pulled her close and leaned back on the sofa, nestling her into my chest. We sat gazing at the fire, our bodies close, limbs entwined, and happy to just be close and quiet.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Joshua

  I sat behind the wheel with the engine rumbling and looked at the gate which seemed to loom large and ominously at me. I drew in a breath and hit the remote, watching as the gate swung open. I glanced up and met Rabbit’s eyes in the rear-view mirror. She had determined it was better for her to be behind me so I could see her easily. She nodded, not saying anything.

  Still, I hesitated.

  Slowly, I felt arms encircle my shoulders from behind, and Rabbit’s head rested against my neck. “I’m right here, Joshua,” her tender voice whispered into my ear. “It’s still your property. You’re still safe.”

  I sighed and shifted into drive. I lowered the plow and began clearing a path further from the gate. The entire time Rabbit’s arms stayed around me, her voice in my ear as the distance from the gate lengthened. Every day we had gone farther and we were almost to the road now. When she felt the tenseness and shaking start, she leaned forward, laying her hand over mine at the wheel. “Just stop, Joshua.”

  I did as she said. “Breathe. Just breathe with me.” I nodded silently and concentrated on pulling the air into my lungs. “Good, that’s good,” she encouraged gently after a few minutes. “Why don’t you just clear a wider path for now? We’ve gone quite far today.”

  I shifted and slowly worked my way back up the drive, cutting another swath through the deep snow. Over and over, I repeated the pattern until a large clear area was in front of me. Then I raised the plow and drove back up the road, through the gate, hitting the button to shut it behind me, even though I knew no one could get as far as the gate since the last stretch of the road was still impassable.

  I pulled the truck up to the front of the house so I could clean it off before pulling it inside the barn later. I jumped out of the truck and, opening the back door, reached in for Rabbit, dragging her across the seat and out of the truck. I stood holding her closely, feeling the panic finally beginning to subdue and my body ease. Her arms were wound around me tightly as she stood locked in my embrace, wordlessly offering me the comfort I needed.

  “You did so well,” she praised, pulling back slightly, her head tilted up. I shrugged self-consciously. “What?” she questioned.

  I looked over her shoulder. “It should be easy after all this time. I should be able to do this.”

  “Joshua …”

  I pushed away from her, pacing, suddenly angry. “Why, Rabbit? Why is it so fucking hard? I walked out my door and into the world for fucking years without even thinking about it. And now, I can’t make it a few hundred fucking feet from my gate without acting like a …”

  “Like a what, Joshua?”

  I spun around.

  “Like a fucking helpless child!” I shouted. “I’m so weak. I disgust myself! I don’t how you can stand there and tell me how well I did. I know the driveway is blocked and there is no one there. I know there is nothing out there that’s going to hurt me. But I can’t fucking get past this. I just … can’t …” I shook my head, my voice trailing off.

  I looked at her as she stood gazing at me. I kept shouting. “I can’t ever be the man you need, Rabbit. I can’t give you a life outside these gates. I can’t take you to dinner. Hell, I can’t even take you to the grocery store. Or on a vacation. I can’t give you a family. I have nothing to offer you.”

  For a minute, she said nothing. Then she strode forward and pushed me. Again and again until I was pushed into the side of the truck, staring down at her in surprise.

  “Listen to me, Joshua. I have no idea what brought that little speech on, but stop it. You are not weak. You have pushed and fought your way back to being able to get out to the gate and beyond. And you keep pushing yourself. You will beat this someday, I know you will. Something will finally be reason enough for you to overcome what those bastards did to you,” she spit out angrily. “But if you didn’t? If you were never able to leave this place? It makes you no less a man in my eyes. What you do with your life is what makes you a man.”

  “And what have I done that makes me a man, Rabbit?” I asked wearily.

  Her eyes narrowed. “You have persevered. You found a way to keep going. You kept writing. You found a way to still be a part of the world even if it means NOT going out that gate,” she insisted, pointing behind me. Then her voice softened. “You didn’t stop being able to love. To show love, Joshua. You heard about Bear and you rescued him. You care and look after him” Her hands came up and cupped my face. “You care and look after me, Joshua. I was a total stranger and you helped me. You tended to my bruises, held me when I was upset, and showed me it was okay to trust.” Her voice became filled with emotion. “You showed me it was okay to love someone. How to love someone. And I do. I love you, Joshua.”

  My eyes were locked on hers and I couldn’t look away.

  “There is so much you would miss being here with me.” I whispered.

  She shook her head. “I wouldn’t miss anything, Joshua. Not being here is what I would miss. Because then, I wouldn’t be with you. I don’t care about dinners or vacations. You are all I need.”

  I swept her into my arms. My lips lovingly kissed her sweet mouth. Small, soft, little caresses. Her hand crept around my head, pulling me to her. My tongue traced the edge of her lips gently, tasting her sweetness. She parted her mouth and my tongue slipped in, teasing hers. Her quiet whimper had me gathering her closer, tilting her head, deepening the kiss. My tongue explored her sweetness, swirling, tasting, stroking, tenderly at first, and then becoming greedier. I couldn’t stop tasting her, savouring her warmth. All the emotion I had been feeling, the panic, the anger and the love swirled and spun into a mass of hot, pulsating need. I broke away, gasping for air, planning on pulling her into the truck and having her right there. I looked down at Rabbit and stilled. Her breath was coming out in small gasps, her chest rising and falling quickly. Her hair was a mass of waves, rippling in the sun, begging for my hands to wind themselves into it. Her lips were swollen and damp from my mouth. Reaching down, I traced a finger over her soft, pink flesh, shuddering as she reached her velvet tongue out, teasing my finger. Her eyes opened and I saw the burning desire in her depths. Her gaze was warm and filled with a love I had never seen directed my way before. My heart began beating faster. “Why did you stop, Joshua?” she breathed.

  My urgent, hot desire faded, instead replaced with an overwhelming tenderness. I didn’t want her any less, but how I wanted her changed. “I love you, Rabbit. So much.” I kissed her tenderly again, lips moving and moulding to each other. “I love you. I love you.” My voice was urgent, needing her to understand the depth of what I was feeling for her. “I want you, Rabbit.” My voice trailed off with a groan as I felt her hand reach inside my coat, stroking me.

  “Take me,” she whispered.

  I shook my head. “Not out here. It’s too cold and I want to take my time. I want you to feel how much I love you.”

  She whimpered in desire and I smiled down at her. “Arms, Rabbit,” I instructed lovingly. Her arms reached up around my neck and I lifted her up and carried into the house. I walked directly to the fireplace, disturbing Bear from his warm spot. His eyes regarded us with utter distain for a moment, and then with a deep huff, he headed down the hall to the bedroom. I slowly lowered Rabbit to her feet and we stood regarding each other. Her hand drifted up, cupping my cheek, stroking slowly. “Love me, Joshua,” she whispered.

  There were simply too many clothes between us and our hands moved with indulgent caresses as clothing was shed and soft skin was exposed. I lowered us both onto the plush
rug making sure she was surrounded by cushions. I kissed every inch of her delicate body as it was exposed, worshipping her with my lips and tongue until she was trembling and undulating under me. Reaching up, I captured her mouth with mine, kissing her deeply over and over again. I teased her, withdrawing my tongue from her mouth and drawing hers into mine, gently sucking and stroking it, drawing out her soft whimpers and moans. Her hands wandered restlessly over my back, pulling me closer, her leg hitching over my hip. “Please, Joshua … please,” she begged, her eyes pleading.

  I hovered over her, staring down into her wide, loved-filled gaze. Slowly, I entered her slick warmth, closing my eyes as the pleasure of being inside her rolled through me. My head fell into the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent as I began moving in long, slow strokes, wanting to be buried in her as long as possible. Her hips rose, meeting me, her legs tightening around my hips, pulling me in as deeply as she could. I could feel my orgasm building like a rapidly moving storm, gathering in strength with each thrust as I moved in her. Her muscles fluttered and clenched and her arms tensed as she gasped out my name, coming apart around me. I continued to move and felt the intense burst of heat as I came intensely, not even able to make a sound as I finally stilled.

  We were both quiet, the silence broken only by our shuddering, panting breaths as we slowly came down to earth. I pulled away and looked down at her. Rabbit’s hand came up, affectionately stroking the back of my neck. She smiled her shy smile and wordlessly pulled my head down to her chest, her hand continuing her gentle caresses.

  “You wanted me to feel how much you loved me? Mission accomplished, Joshua,” she said quietly.

  I couldn’t help the smug smile I felt pull on my lips.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Joshua

  Bear pushed on my arm, and I moved to allow his great body access to see what I was doing under the hood of the truck. I sighed as his shadow blocked the light. I tried moving around him, but he continued leaning against me. Impatiently, I pushed him away. “Down, Bear!” I snapped. He sat looking at me with a huff, but I ignored him and went back to my inspection.

  I had just finished the last of the private drive that led to the main road. Even with Rabbit and Bear with me in the truck it had been a panicky, tense exercise and I only cleared a wide enough path to allow a vehicle through. At one point, I had thought I would pass out from my hyperventilating. The gate was just too far away. Rabbit again sat behind me and it was only her voice in my ear and her tight embrace that helped me get through it.

  I had noticed a strange noise in the engine and the thought of the truck breaking down that far away was overwhelming. Then when I raised the plow it seemed to seize and that was the last straw. I turned the truck around and headed back to the gate as quickly as possible. After dropping Rabbit at the front of the house and telling her where I would be, I decided to work on the truck in front of the barn. I needed to be alone for a short time and calm down.

  The sun was out in full force today and it was warm on my back as I bent over the hood. I was checking out the source of the noise, and then I would move on to the plow.

  I leaned forward, checking on the timing belt, when Rabbit appeared. She snuck up under my arm, and once again my light was blocked. “How’s it going?” she asked sweetly.

  “It’s not,” I said through gritted teeth.

  She turned her head and regarded me. “How come?”

  “I keep getting interrupted.”

  “Oh.” Her voice was soft. “I brought you some coffee.”

  I nodded. “Thanks.”

  But she didn’t move. “Can I help?”

  The emotion of the morning was still running through me and my patience was highly insufficient. When she fell heavily into my side I saw that Bear had heaved himself up beside her, joining the party. She stroked his head lovingly as she chuckled. “Wanting to see what Daddy is doing, Bear?”

  I pulled up and away from the engine. “I am NOT his daddy. He’s my dog. And I’m never going to get anything done if the two of you don’t go away and stop blocking my fucking light!” I snarled.

  She regarded me quietly. “I’ll take that as a no. Your coffee is in the thermos. Come on, Bear, your master is busy.” She leaned down and grabbed his collar, then walked away.

  Finally.

  I went back to work; I tightened the belt and continued checking. Except, now that I had all the space and light I needed, I couldn’t concentrate. All I could see was the soft hurt that had appeared on Rabbit’s face when I had yelled at her.

  And what had she done? Made me coffee and asked if she could help.

  Yeah. That so deserved my anger.

  Instead of telling her how tense I was still feeling from pushing my boundary limits when plowing and the fact that the road was once again open which made me anxious, I yelled at her and sent her away.

  Fuck.

  I threw down my tools and grabbed the thermos. I didn’t even bother pouring it into the lid. I just drank it from the thermos directly. The hot liquid’s aromatic steam drifted upwards and I closed my eyes briefly, enjoying the cinnamon-laced beverage. I went to place the thermos down and noticed the slice of pie sitting on the tool chest as well. And lying across the top was a fork. I felt my lips twitch in memory of the kitchen events of a few days ago, and then I groaned.

  I was such an asshole.

  She knew without me telling her how distressed I was and had come to offer me her quiet comfort with both her company and her treats. Instead of accepting either graciously, I snapped and hurt her feelings.

  Suddenly, the truck didn’t seem as important as finding Rabbit and apologizing. I’d go get her and she could hand me my tools and talk to me while I worked. We’d both feel better.

  If I could get her to listen to me.

  I trudged up the path to the house and had just rounded the bend when the first one hit me.

  THWACK!

  I stopped walking and raised my hand to my head. It came away wet and covered in snow.

  What the fuck? A snowball?

  Before I could even figure out what happened …

  THWACK!

  This time the snowball hit me right in my chest.

  I looked down, mouth agape, and made the mistake of raising my head to scan the area around me.

  THWACK!

  Right. In. The. Face.

  Blinking, I stood there speechless and was suddenly hit with a barrage of snowballs. Very few missed.

  I hit the ground. I heard a mischievous giggle and then there was silence.

  “Rabbit!”

  Nothing.

  “Rabbit, where the hell are you?”

  Nothing.

  I crawled back around the bend and then poked my head back to see. The large piles of snow were excellent hiding places. Especially when you were tiny. I focused my gaze on the direction I thought the snowballs had come from. As I was doing this, my hands were busy getting some of my own ammunition ready.

  “Rabbit! I’m coming out now. No more snowballs. I’m warning you!”

  I stood up and poked my head around the bend. Sure enough, I watched a snowball come flying my way, but this time I ducked.

  And thanks to Bear’s tail sticking up in the air, I knew exactly where she was. Right behind the clump of bushes ahead and to my right. I chuckled to myself. If I went back towards the barn, I could sneak around and come up right behind her. Just to throw her off, I yelled out one more time. “I’m soaked, Rabbit! And the last one got me in the eye! Come out!”

  My only answer was another snowball that flew past me. I stood up and threw one widely, wanting her to think I had no idea where she was.

  “Fine! I’m going back to the barn!” I yelled, trying not to laugh. I crouched down and quickly made my way back towards the barn, and once I got to the other path, I quietly made my way around behind her. And there she was, huddled behind the row of bushes with an impressive pile of snowballs sitting beside her, ready to do batt
le. I could see her peering through the bushes trying to see where I was, while Bear sat beside her, chewing on one of the snowballs. He glanced at me and I gave him the hand signal for silence. He stared at me briefly, and then looked over to Rabbit. Finally, he gave a huff as if to say ‘I’m out,’ and then went back to chewing on the snowball. I quietly crept through the snow until I was about five feet behind Rabbit. “Where are you, you grumpy man?” she muttered. “Come back and I’ll show you an interruption.”

  My lips twitched at her angry mutterings. Pulling two snowballs out of my pockets, I steadied myself.

  “Right here, pretty girl,” I growled.

  She whirled around, gasping just as I threw the first snowball. It hit her square in the chest. Instantly, she retaliated with one that barely missed my head. I threw the next one while reaching into my pocket for more. My arsenal was soon depleted and I stood looking at Rabbit. Her cheeks were flushed with cold and laughter and her hair gleamed in the sunlight as she danced around trying to avoid being hit. My earlier anger now forgotten, I grinned as I watched her. I pulled the last snowball from my pocket and dropped it on the ground. “I surrender,” I laughed. “Do with the grumpy man what you will.”

  I wasn’t prepared for what happened next. One moment I was standing and the next Rabbit came barrelling at me, hitting me square in the chest, knocking us both into the snow. My breath left me in a large gasp as I stared at her, wide-eyed in shock. Then I rolled her over and, grinning, whispered “Gotcha,” as I pushed a handful on snow down her neck. Her squeals and laughter made me chuckle and I gazed down at her. As her laughter died away, I leaned down. “Forgive me, Rabbit,” I whispered quietly into her ear. “I’m such an asshole.”

  I pulled back and was startled to see tears in her eyes. Had I hurt her somehow? Her healing injuries were always foremost in my mind, but maybe I accidently held her too tightly?

  “Baby, are you okay? Did I hurt you?”